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Just venting!!!!!

Posted: Thu Nov 17, 2011 7:34 am
by sleeperNY
For the first time in many years I am not in a band. Both my wife and I left the band we were in for many years due to problems with her sister. My wifes sister is married to the bass player. My sister in law has been kind of looking after my mother in law for some time. About 4 months ago my mother in law got sick and went to the hospital. She was badly malnourished. Seams that you can't live on Jimmy Dean frozen food. Well she never went back to her home and now will live out here days with her son. He is the power of attorney and we are finding out some things that you only read about but never happens to people you know let alone have them be the ones doing it. Long story made a bit shorter my sister in law has been taking advantage of my mother in law financially for years. There is some identity theft involved and just plain outright theft. Seams that she took almost $18000.00 and put it in her daughters name, opened up credit cards in her mothers name, maxed them out and never made any payments on them. My mother in law now has a lean on her home that has been paid off for over 20 years, all here bank accounts have been frozen to recover money on a car that she in the loan holder for due to some bankruptcy proceedings that her daughter is going through. If that isn't bad enough, her grand daughter and her husband have just filed for bankruptcy and the $18000 is frozen to cover what it will of there debts.
I had a chat with the leader of the band and told him that my wife and I no longer wanted to be around her and her husband, the bass player. This is a bass player that puts nothing into playing. The only time he gets his bass out is if we have a job. He usually shows up to practice but is always late and never in the mood to practice. I on the other had have spent many many hours working what we do and also totally financed the web page. (it is gone now)
For what ever reason the bass player was chosen over me. I guess that in the long run speaking up and wanting the music to come out right was a bad thing. I think I mad the right decision.

Sorry for the long post but I just needed to vent a bit

Jim

Re: Just venting!!!!!

Posted: Thu Nov 17, 2011 8:04 am
by dubtrub
When it rains it pours! Sorry to hear about the in law situation, that's a tough one.

Regarding the band situation, there is always a weak link in every band. Hopefully the band will find a compatible bass player and you guy's can keep on playing. I know that it's tough starting a new band from scratch especially once a reputation and a following has been established. Good luck Jim, and feel free to vent anytime.

Re: Just venting!!!!!

Posted: Thu Nov 17, 2011 8:46 am
by stl80
Sad stuff. Just said a prayer for all of you.
Jim

Re: Just venting!!!!!

Posted: Thu Nov 17, 2011 9:29 am
by olrocknroller
Friends can be really nasty to you, but to really get hurt takes family. My sympathies, I wouldn't even look back, just walk away... There are other bands; if you're that dedicated to music, you'll find another one.

Re: Just venting!!!!!

Posted: Thu Nov 17, 2011 12:52 pm
by Sarah93003
That is a srious bummer!

Re: Just venting!!!!!

Posted: Thu Nov 17, 2011 1:57 pm
by MWaldorf
Wow, that stinks! Good luck moving forward.

Re: Just venting!!!!!

Posted: Thu Nov 17, 2011 3:53 pm
by Veenture
olrocknroller wrote:Friends can be really nasty to you, but to really get hurt takes family. My sympathies, I wouldn't even look back, just walk away... There are other bands; if you're that dedicated to music, you'll find another one.

+ 1 ....yes, there are other fish to fry! Good luck with a new situation, whatever that may turn out to be but don't let this get at you, Jim.

Re: Just venting!!!!!

Posted: Thu Nov 17, 2011 4:26 pm
by zarfnober
Unfortunately we sometimes get stuck with family members that should be in a family of their own, I sincerely hope all works out for your mother in-law. And start your own band this time, good luck,

Rocco

Re: Just venting!!!!!

Posted: Thu Nov 17, 2011 4:52 pm
by sleeperNY
Thanks for all your support. As this day draws to a close I believe that both my wife and I are now in another band. It will be a new band but it is with people that we both have known for many many years. First practice is this Saturday. And the best part is they are all good musicians.

Jim

Re: Just venting!!!!!

Posted: Thu Nov 17, 2011 7:32 pm
by Dennisthe Menace
Jim, I'm just gonna say a big plus one on what everybody has already mentioned. Just remember,
since you and your Wife are that dedicated, it's no wonder you folks already found another band ;) .